CommentsDevious Comments Thanks so much for this lovely critique! I definitely enjoy this series of short stories, so I'm glad you found this one entertaining. I'll definitely look at editing those few technical issues.
Again, thank you so much! -- The Matchbox Twent Madness Contest has begun! For details and updated prize listings, go here: [link] BTW, I'm now a senior admin for *TheWritersMeow  My pleasure.
 It was my first critique, so I hope it was helpful. -- Writing teaches us our mysteries. ~ Marie De L'Incarnation It was indeed.
-- The Matchbox Twent Madness Contest has begun! For details and updated prize listings, go here: [link] BTW, I'm now a senior admin for *TheWritersMeow That's a relief.
 -- Writing teaches us our mysteries. ~ Marie De L'Incarnation |
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Your description of Aftiel humming quietly to herself paints a beautiful picture of her. The use of that description again at the end of this piece is very effective and rounds off the story.
"After all, we were merely angelic in nature, not saintly, and each of us had our own personal sin." - I especially enjoyed this idea from Lucifer's perspective.
"I still am unsure " - I would probably change this to I am still unsure. It just made me stumble each time I read it.
"sin, itself" - the comma can be removed.
Overall, this was an entertaining read and I look forward to reading more of your work.